The One with Flipper and Willy

What is it with us and fire alarms? 15 minutes before our ridiculously early alarm would have gone off anyway, the fire alarm goes of sending us and the other 200 backpackers down in the city square in our PJs. That said, a lot of our companions, had not deemed the alarm an emergency and had got dressed, one guy had brought his whole backpack with him....

We headed back in, got ready and dashed round to the bus station to catch our early morning bus to Kaikoura. Following our rude awakening we slept pretty much the whole way, waking only as we pulled into the pretty town by the sea, surrounded by hills. Stunning.

Our hostel was awesome - Far Side cards were enlarged and all over every room, making me giggle all day. We borrowed a couple of bikes from the hostel and took a ride along the front to the peninsula.


We walked to see some more seals having a swim, and then went for a walk up the hill and along the cliff edge to admire the view.

The next morning was time for our big adventure. We were going swimming with the dolphins!

We walked down the HQ and were soon kitted out once more in the sexy attire that are wetsuits. We watched a video on the do's and don't of swimming with dolphins - ie:

• Do slip quietly and carefully into the water,
• Do not jump like a loony into the water or you'll scare them off (the video of this was particularly amusing)
• Do look where you're swimming or you may swim into the boat.

They told us what to do if we were in distress, but also warned that the way that some people swim makes it look like they are in distress (again the video of this was rather funny!)

Fully cautioned and prepared, we headed off to the boats and out on to the water, and before we knew it the Dolphins had been sighted and the claxon was sounded for us to get in the water.

Whilst I am a strong swimmer, i'm not a strong snorkeller, and with the haste and excitement of getting into the water with dolphins I tend to panic, so it took me a wee while to enjoy myself, as I was trying to remember how to breathe, considering my nose now felt suffocated! I finally got the hang of it, and then tried to remember the 3 ways to "entertain" the dolphins so they will come and have a closer look at you

1. Swim in circles, keeping eye contact - believe me they can swim quicker in circles than I can
2. Make a noise through the snorkel - I think I sounded a bit like Anne from Little Britain, but one guy was singing!
3. Dive around and be as Dolphin like as possible. Considering I have trouble breathing with a snorkel, I didn't think adding water down the top off it by diving under would do me any good at all!

So I did my best, swimming in circles and sounding like an idiot, and the dusky dolphins flocked around. At one point I had 8 swimming around me in circles - the most amazing thing. We swam around for a while, and then as soon as they had come they disappeared.

We got back in the boat and set off to follow them, and then we realised why they had all scarpered so quickly.

5 Orca Whales were swimming along the coastline. It was so so so exciting to see these beautiful creatures in the wild, I was like a kid at Christmas!

They dived and surfaced, and at one point one swam right up to and under our boat. We followed them for a while, and then they dived too deep for us to see, so we went back to finding dolphins to watch.

These ones were really playful, and we watched them jumping out of the water, skimming along on their tails, or flopping back sideways into the water. Spectacular!

By the time we got back to Kaikoura I was on top of the world. Time for a DB beer with lunch ( - with my initials I had to at least try it) and then back on the bus to Christchurch for our last few days in NZ.

We stayed with Louise and Paul, Helen's cousins, and generally chilled out. This is the view from their balcony so it certainly wasn't difficult!

And so the sun set on our time in NZ. It's been the most amazing 2 months, and I was really sad to be leaving. We've made some awesome friends, who I know we'll stay in contact with, and I really fell in love with the beautiful scenery here. Who knows - if I stay any longer I might start saying Fush and Chups and wearing Jandals! - better get going!

The One with Dejavu

Ok, so back on the road, and a bit of De Ja Vu sees us back in Queenstown, with a few random stops in tiny places like Alexandra, and Clyde on the way.

Once in Queenstown we meet back up with Fiona (Hoorah!) and have a catch up. That evening in Altitude, Fiona, H, Myself, and Bridget (who we met on the stray bus in North Island in Paihia) decide the 4 places on the Bar Bungy. The winner would win a free Nevis Bungy jump, and our logic is, that at least this way, someone we like will win it!

Once more the glorified knicker elastic will come into play, in a Gladiator's style challenge, which sees you run to the other end of the bar, grab a 1/2 yard of lager, ping back to where you started from, and down the beverage, with time penalties for spillage.

Bridget went first and put in a stonking time, H went next, and gracefully pinged back on her bottom, and sat to drink her beer on the floor. I went third, and was not as un co-ordinated as usual... Sadly my downing abilities have worsened considerably since giving up playing rugby (sorry rugby girls!) and it was this that meant I got second place and not first - still it was free beer I suppose!

The next day, while Helen and Ben checked out Queenstown, H had a sleep, and a party raged for Australia Day underneath our bedroom window, I went for a walk up to the Queenstown Hill to get another good look of the view. For company I had our 19 year old room mate Jimmy, who is English but has been living in the united Arab Emirates most of his life. The walk leads you up through a forest, which while it looks green from the outside, looks deadon the inside, as no light penetrates the top tree cover. This made the whole area rather spooky, especially when you spot pixie toadstools under the trees!

Once more the view made the walk completely worthwhile. I don't think I'd ever get bored of it and definately want to come back when the Remarkables are covered in snow.

Whilst walking, Jimmy and I were chatting and somehow (not exactly sure how) Jason Donovan came up in conversation. "Who's that?" he asked. I was gobsmacked. Surely EVERYONE knows who Jason Donovan is! "Jason Donovan"... I replied, "Too many broken hearts, was in Neighbours, duet with Kylie.... " All was met with a blank face.

I am officially old.

While we were off tramping, Helen and Ben had sneakily got engaged (CONGRATULATIONS guys!), so after they had a romantic dinner, a celebration was in order. While we waited, we went back to Altitude (and it turns out after a quick vox pop of randoms in the bar that if you are either not a Kiwi, Aussie or Brit, or if you are under 20 years of age, then you will not know who Jason Donovan is, thus confirming my ancient-ness). We then went to World Bar for celebratory tea pots and dejavu raged once more!

Following another chilled out day, Helen and I had to say goodbye to Helen and Ben, and to the lovely Queenstown, and head (again) to Christchurch. We boarded the stray bus for the very last time, and once more could not see Mount Cook at Lake Pukaki (grr), and arrived back at Christchurch, to settle back at Base. This time we met up with Sam (hoorah!), and went for a catch up in a local Irish Bar. He's off to Oz tomorrow, so no doubt we will see him again before too long!

The One with the Chocolate Boulders

Back on the road, and heading south again, this time destination Dunedin, the Edinburgh of the Southern Hemisphere.

Our first stop of the day, however, is at Moeraki - home of the famous spherical boulders on the beach.

I have to admit that there are a lot less of them than I imagined, but they are impressive nonetheless, especially as they are nigh on spherical, have little vein marks on them, and when you see a broken one you realise that they have a honeycomb centre.

The Maori Legend has is that these boulders were gourds from some Maori ancestor's Woka. The Woka (canoes) got into trouble and crashed. The Gourds and food supplies such as Kumara were washed ashore where they were turned to stone. The Woka became the headland, and the captain and the crew became the surrounding hills.

We had a bit of fun with comedy poses, and wandered along the beach enjoying the sun (and wind). We drove from here to Shag Point, and watched the Seals who also seemed to be enjoying the sun, and basked on the rocks, or played dodge the seaweed in the sea.

Back on the road and we arrive in Dunedin. This place has hills that compare to San Francisco so driving a manual was fun!

When travelling, I always like to try and sample all the local foods, and that has come to include local sweets (and beers!). The one thing that Helen and I have noticed in NZ is that there is so much more choice of Cadburys chocolate over here than at home. And whilst Dairy Milk doesn't taste the same, some of the other flavours would be a real contribution to the chocolate industry in the UK. For example... the chocolate fudge brownie Dairy Milk in the Desserts range. Other flavours we can leave happily in NZ however, such as the Pinky Bar - pink marshmallow, covered in caramel, and then in chocolate - and yes, it is as sickly as it sounds, and I think I have the sweetest tooth in history!

So, purely in the interests of cultural diversty we took a trip to the Cadburys Factory!

As we entered, along with our sexy hairnet, we were given a bag, and a Chocolate Fish bar (marshmallow and chocolate - the kiwi's are HUGE on marshmallow it seems!), and as we worked around the factory, watching Willy Wonka style machines make chocolate buttons, learning about the 40 million easter eggs that are made in NZ each year (and consumed in a week by 4 million New Zealanders), and lots of other choccie based knowledge, our party bag was swelled with more fun sized treats.

On top of this, we were also given the opportunity to "win" more bars by joining in the Question and Answers sessions. The person who guessed the right answer winning another chocolate bar. We didn't know that to begin with, and the group was pretty quiet, but once we realised chocolate was at stake, we all became a rowdy bunch, guessing out loud in the hope of another bar (H was one of the leaders on this - but then she is a chocoholic!)

The piece de resistance was watching a ton of liquid Dairy Milk fall from the ceiling, in one of the cooling towers. It really made my mouth water, which I guess it was designed to do as the next stop was the shop....

After being dragged kicking and screaming out of the shop, we dropped Helen and Ben at their hostel, and H and I took Bertha to St Leonards. We were going to stay with Ron (Julian) - a friend of my brothers Dan's from way back, his wife Nicky, and two children Daniel and Abigail.

I haven't seen Ron since I was 18 (and had THAT haircut!), but the family instantly made Helen and I feel completely at home, and we were soon learning all about which were the best "monsters in my pocket" from Daniel.

Once the children were in bed, we had time to catch up and then nicky took us ona quick night time tour of Dunedin, including Baldwin Street - the steepest street in the world - and boy does it kill your legs, and I only walked up a little bit!

We also went to Signal Hill which gave glorious views of the city. The sun was setting behind the hills and the cloud was rolling in, and turning orange where it hit the sun, and below the lights of Dunedin twinkled, and the harbour water glowed in the evening light.

The next day, we picked up Helen and Ben and drove around the headland to visit the Royal Albatross Centre. We had a talk on these magnificent birds. They have a wing span of upto 3.5m and fly around the world only landing on terra firma once every 2 years to breed, the rest of the time they spend in the air or on the water. They mate for life, but only meet up to breed, spending most of the rest of their year in single sex groups or on their own, and if they lose a partner they mourn before finding a new mate.

It was nesting season, so we got to see 3 Albatross (I really feel that the plural should be Albatri!) on their nests - sadly we didn't get to see any of them in flight.

We then drove round to Allans Bay and got up close and personal with some seals on the beach. We also saw some very lively sealions frolicking on the sand. The wildlife in NZ is wonderful.

The others dropped us in St Leonards, Abbie was a pre school, and Daniel had a friend, Lennox, over, so we took the two boys down to the beach with Odd the Dog, and Ted, a neighbour of Rons. The boys went to "paddle" in the sea and were soon completely drenched!

We fought for the frisby with Odd, and kicked a rugby ball about the beach, and generally had an awesome afternoon. With the boys now wet, and covered in sand, I decided to give them Mermen Tails, much to their delight!

Helen and I must have made quite an impression on 6 year old Daniel, who told his Dad that we were fun and that he would like to marry one of us but by our age we were probably married already!!

That night we had a chilled out evening, drinking and eating, admiring the view from the house over the inlet, and then decided to play Risk! A competitve evening followed with alliances being made and broken constantly, and by the early hours of the morning, the Treaty of St Leonards, an alliance betweent the three remaining conquerors, was signed, and peace reigned once more.

A huge thanks to "the Reals" who made our trip to Dunedin so memorable, and who made us so welcome. It was awesome to see you all again!

The One with the Road Trip and the P..p..p..penguins

We head to the airport and pick up our new mode of transport for the next week or so. Bertha (as we name her) is small and petite... a bit of a shock for 4 fully grown people, with 4 large backpack, 4 day sacks and a cool bag! It'll be no surprise that it was a bit of a squash!

Before hitting the open road, we head to the Antarctic Centre, which seems quite apt, as we will be having a penguin themed day! We follow the penguin flippers from the car park, and head in. The exhibition is quite fantastic, giving information about explorers, the conditions they faced, and letting you experience an antarctic blizzard... (wear a coat and get very cold wind blown at you in the dark!) We all manage to find the child inside us however, and play in the igloo, and on the ice slide!

We also get to see the little blue penguins kept here. They have all been injured in some way and would not survive in the wild, but seem happy enough swimming around in their pool!

We wander around the exhibits, learning about everything from global warming, to the science projects based down there, and then watched a short film of images from the south pole, stars, penguins, ice... truly beautiful.

Finally, we hit the road and head south (stopping for more cookies on the way!). With only one million people living in South Island New Zealand, you can pass through some pretty tiny towns so Ben invented the game "Guess the Population" - no rocket science degree needed to play, and kept us amused.

By this point we were probably hyper on the sugar in the cookies, and so when driving through the small village of Glennavy, I randomly burst into song:

In Glennavy,

There's nothing for you to see

In Glennavy

Population you and me

In Glennavy

Policemen hide behind a tree

In Glennavy

In Glennavy

(obviously to the tune of In the Navy). Disclaimer - there may well be things to do in Glennavy, and that whilst the policemen probably don't hide behind trees, the one police car we saw was pretty hidden away.

We headed on and finally reached Oamaru - our home for the night.

That evening we boarded the Penguin Express Bus, and headed off to see the rare Yellow Eyed Penguins come in from the sea. We paid a little extra and went on a special tour which took us on a small track on the cliff side towards some of the nesting boxes.

As we walked along, we stopped as a family of yellow eyed penguins were on the path beside us. They are fairly big, and the two youngsters were adolescents - their soft plume-y feathers already beginning to moult and revealing their swimming feathers underneath. Like most teenagers they looked a bit scruffy! Check out the mullet on the one in the background!

We stood for at least 20 minutes watching them go about family life. They can make quite a racket, and are so so beautiful to look at.

Our guide Bruce, was giving us lots of information about the Yellow Eyed penguins, but I was so overwhelmed by how close we were to these amazing birds that I only had one ear to him anyway!

We then went and joined the rest of the bus, who were on the cliff top, and had had only a very distant view of the penguins. (I tried not to feel too smug!) The sun was setting, and as you can see, the view in itself made the evening worthwhile!

Back on the bus and we now head to the other penguin landing site in Oamaru, this time home to the Little Blue penguins!

By now it was completely dark, and we sit on a wooden stand to watch raft after raft of the little blues come up out of the water, rewaterproof their feathers, and waddle up to the path. Here they seemd to look both ways before dashing across in a clump, diving under the fence, and disappearing to wherever they are nesting for the night.

One poor little soul, went for a waddle on his own and came almost all the way up to where we were. I think his sense of direction was a bit askew!

What an amazing evening. I felt truly priveledged to be able to get so close to these amazing birds in their natural habitat.

The One with the Buskers Convention

Back on the Stray bus, and H and I began to feel a bit lonely without the security of our chums. We headed through the Lindis Pass towards Christchurch, with our new driver Fido.


Again the day was grey and so we had no chance of seeing Mount Cook, and as we reached Lake Pukaki our fears were confirmed. A big wall of cloud where the mountain should be.


We drove on to Lake Tekapo instead, and the grey day gave a very scottish feel to the lake, with the beautiful purple and pink lupins framed against the lake and hills and the Church of the Good Shepherd, looking like a little scottish chapel. I spent quite a while kneeling in amongst the lupins trying to get the perfect photo. They may not be that great but I like them!

From here it was pretty straight sailing through the Canterbury Plains to Christchurch. Time for another movie and a quick stop just outside Christchurch at the Cookie Time factory, to buy big bags of yummy cookies.... mmmmmmmm!

Finally reach Christchurch, and I think our partying has caught up with us. We are exhausted, and settle in quickly to the Base Backpackers.

Our friends from home Helen and Ben have arrived in Christchurch today and we meet up with them, catching up on the gossip over dinner - it's weird to meet up with people from home so far away, but really nice for us to have some more company, and we will be spending the next part of our trip with them.

The next day, and a gloriously sunny one at that, we head out to explore Christchurch itself. There is the World Buskers Convention in town this month so the streets are lined with street artists, magicians, and performers of all sorts!

We jump on a tram and follow the two road route about the city centre, checking out sights and trying to get our bearings. We hop off at a little park, and take some photos of the River Avon. Needless to say, Christchurch is a very English sort of town, and there is no surprise that there are punts floating down the Avon!

We go and check out the craft markets, and stand for a while watching one street performer who was particularly amusing, and then another who was dressed like a gargoyle... making the children scream in fright!, then a quick walk around the Botanic Gardens. There were some beautiful flowers, and randomly a UFO parked in the middle of the grounds!

From here, we caught a bus out to the Gondola, and went up in the cable car to get a good view of the city. I think Helen and I are jinxed with views at the moment, as as we reached the top the clouds rolled in, giving us precisely one quick whip around teh top before we could see no further than the end of our nose! Time for a cup of tea, and a quick travel back in time in the museum (Ben was hilariously jumpy in the dark!)

That night we tried (and failed) to go on a ghost walk (they don't run on sundays) so had an early night instead.

The One with Misty Milford

Following a late night, getting up is never easy, and especially if you didn't get into bed until the wee small hours, are needing to catch a bus at 6.50am, and try and say goodbye to friends for the last time as you rush out of the door. It was for this reason that we nearly didn't make it to Milford at all... as we rushed out of the hostel we managed to stop our bus which had already pulled away, and jump on to it in the middle of the road. 10 seconds later and we' d have been going back to bed.

The bus wound it's way past the lake and down towards Te Anau. Despite feeling decidedly drowsy, I couldn't help but marvel at the scenery which was fantastic. I have a big thing about clouds over here, and they were really stunning this morning, plus there was a beautiful rainbow.

After a quick tea stop in the Te Anau, we stopped at some Mirror Lakes briefly. After the disappointment of Lake Matheson I didn't hold my breath, but this time, despite the drizzle, you at least got a reflection. Even the ducks were checking themselves out in the water!


Next stop was the Eglington Valley with wonderful views of the mountains, and with corn coloured grass pastures in front. A couple on our bus felt that this was real Sound of Music style country, and proceeded to try and jump in unison towards each other for the perfect photo, but just succeeded in making themselves look like real idiots!

We drove through Knob's Flat, and the Divide (the meeting of the alps) and then arrived at the Homer Tunnel. We needed to wait for the traffic lights to change and so got a good view of the Kea (an Alpine Parrot) attacking the awaiting cars. A bit like the monkeys in safari park, they go for all the rubber on your car and try and pull it off and give it a good chew. Our bus driver also told us that they like to ride on the bus to get the wind in their feathers, and they then stamp their feet if he slows down!

With it being a glorious morning when we left Queenstown, it was a bit of a disappointment that the weather was now cold and misty. We headed through the tunnel and into a wall of cloud and mist... not the stunning views I had heard of!

We stopped briefly at a place called the Chasm, a fantastic water eroded, near vertical rapids, with crystal clear turquoise coloured water, and by the time we had wandered through the forest track (complete with fern curls!), we reached our bus to find a couple of hungry kea's in full conversation on the top of the bus, and having a good nibble at whatever they could get their beaks around!

With a boat to catch it was frull throttle downt o the terminal, and on to the Spirit of Milford - our transport on the Sound for the next 2 hours.

Milford Sound is actually mis-named, as it is actually a Fjord, but hey, who's counting!? The mist and rain made for a very atmospheric journey around the water, but made it a little soggy to stand out on deck for too long (completely unprepared for rain I had left my jacket in sunny Queenstown!)

We saw Seals, and many waterfalls, and as we headed back in from the Tasman sea we were joined by some dolphins. I stood at the front of the boat and watched 5 dolphins swim along with us their tails under the boat, their heads poking out, as though they were a team of horses pulling us along! Fantastic! They joined us for a wee while, before swimming off to play with another boat.

We had a brief stop at an underwater observatory. The mixture of fresh and salt water makes for some very interesting marine wildlife in the Sound, and means that certain plants and fish survive here, that ordinarily would only survive at much deeper depths, so we looked out at corals and fish that we would otherwise need scuba gear to see!

Back on the bus and it was back the same way to Te Anau, and dozing on and off en route. I woke at one point to find the whole bus surrounded by sheep... a very bizarre experience! Then on to Queenstown, watching Dodgeball on the way. Back in Queenstown we spent out last night with the lovely Fiona and Sam (Sam - do you know what "corked" means yet?) - the group will split completely tomorrow, as H and I head off to Christchurch!

The One with the Tea Pot, and the Moment of Madness

The next day we were off to Queenstown - home of everything adrenalin based! We stopped for photos at Lake Wanaka and Lake Hawea on the way... it was a stunning day.

As we neared the town of Wanaka, we were given the opportunity to go to Stuart Landsborough's Puzzling World - home of.... that's right ... ILLUSIONS! Well, needless to say, we didn't have to be invited to go twice, and with our own resident illusionist on board, headed off for a magic fuelled time!

First we attempted the maze. When a group of people try and negotiate through something like this it becomes clear who the leaders, and logical people are, and those who would much rather just follow where they are led... I fell into the latter category, and H and Ian stood on the bridges, surveying the land, working out routes and leading us to the 4 corners with military precision. Sadly, getting out took twice as long and led us about 3 million times through the maze, but (unlike some people!) we didn't cheat and take the emergency exits, we ploughed on and made it out victoriously.

Next, we head to the illusion rooms inside. This included a room full of faces that follow you around. The Ames Illusion Room, which make some of us look Giant and others like Hobbits, and a room which was tilted at a 45 degree angle so water runs up hill. A great opportunity for Dermot to prove his illusionist power, and make a billiard ball run up a slanting table using the pure strength of his mind. I'll try and get the video clip on here at some point, but we all know how un-technical I am so don't hold your breath! It was all pointless silliness, but hey, it made me laugh!

From here, we ploughed straight on to Queenstown, stopping first at Kawarau Bridge, the AJ Hackett Bungy site, and the first commercial bungy in the world. Considering I have always said I wouldn't bungy, this next part may come as a bit of a surprise...

Not wanting to be a wuss, and considering it was a lovely hot day and you were jumping over water, I paid and went and joined the queue... We watched person after person silently jump off the ledge and boing around, a bit like lemmings to be honest... what can be scary about that!

Once I was harnessed up and was going to be the next person to jump, the fear hit, however, and I started to get a bit tearful, but was reminded, in no uncertain terms, by the guy tying my feet together with glorified knicker elastic, that I was on holiday and that I wanted to do this... which soon shut me up!

They play pumping music to get you pysched...nothing like a bit of "Feel the Pressure" by Prodigy to make you want to jump... I shuffled like a penguin to the edge of the bridge, pulled a silly face for the camera, lent forward and jumped.

Fell might be more appropriate - the video is hilarious as my arms windmill uncontrollably just as I'm tipping over the edge, as though I've changed my mind, but it was way too late for that. I fall screaming, and screaming, my arms graze the water and I ping back up. To be honest I know I saw the bridge on the way back up, but I don't remember much more of the view so I may have had my eyes shut!

Before I knew it I was grabbing the pole and being pulled into the boat, my legs were SOO wobbly but I was BUZZING - it was amazing, and I would certainly do it again. We watched the others - Fiona... I still love your jump the best!, H - so graceful as ever, Ian - spinning round as he comes back down, and Frenchy... Somersaulting off, and taking his wet t-shirt off, mid bounce and wringing it out over his head... Show off!

Then back on the bus - which nearly flew to Queenstown with the adrenalin from all of us. That night we had an awesome night in Altitude the bar below our hostel. The Stray Bus showed everyone else how to party.

As if that wasn't enough, the next day we went Jet Boating - on the Shotover Jet. Fiona, Helen and I whizzed up and down the river on as little as 10cm of water. The driver narrowly missed the canyon walls and span us round in 360 degree turns. A real laugh!

Back at base, the others were going to ride the Luge, but trying to save a bit of money, I went up in the gondola and drunk in the view. At first it was drizzly... cue lots of photos, and then the sun came out and completely changed the view... cue a lot more. I've seen the view in guidebooks, and posters but nothing could prepare me for how spectacular the view actually was... I could have stayed up there all night.

But there was more partying to be done, as the group would go their seperate ways tomorrow, with Ian and Dermot heading on and the rest of us staying in Queenstown. We headed to Fergburger... (yummy burgers - Ferg loves you!) and then to World Bar for the famous teapot cocktails.

I have to admit I was a bit dense when it came to the teapots. I didn't know why everyone wanted to go and get a teapot. How did they intend to carry a ceramic teapot in their rucksack... then it got explained to me. Cocktails... served in a china tea pot. You can drink them witha straw in the spout, or shot by shot!

Needless to say, more scope for daft photos... especially as one of the cocktails was called... you guessed it... Illusion.


Guys... I had the best fun with you all, I don't think I will ever be able to think of South Island without also thinking of you. Love you guys! Keep in touch!

The One with the Illusionist and the Fern Curls

Whilst in Franz Josef, queueing to pay for the hike, we got onto the old addage of sharing passport photos. I usually win the most horrific photo competition, and it generally raises a laugh, not least because aged 17 I actually look 45. For those of you lucky enough to know me when I had "that" haircut, you know what I'm talking about, and for those of you left to see it, you'd better buy me a drink first.

Anyway, I digress - this time, I did not steal the show with my photo, because Dermots Driving License makes him look like the headliner in a magic show. The nickname Dermot Lavelle: Illusionist was born (say it in an irish accent for the full effect)

Its actually surprising how often the word Illusion or magic comes into general conversation, but with this nickname in place we didn't miss a single mention, and it caused hours of endless laughter!

We set off from Franz, and headed via the small town of Fox to see Lake Matheson and the famous mirror lake. Whilst I got a brief glimpse of Mount Cook, it was soon shrouded in cloud and with the addition of a bit of wind, we had nothing more than a small lake, with a few sleepy ducks. Very unimpressive to the picture postcard image in the shop, and all the guide books! Oh well!

We travelled through the Haast Past and stopped at Roaring Billy Falls, a fast flowing river, with waterfalls going into it. Ian and Merris were brave and went for a swim in the freezing water - rather them than me. We also stopped at Thunder Creek Falls - and now an official bunch of posers, decide to stand on one leg for our photo... at least our photos won't be boring!

Finally we arrived in Makarora - a tiny place in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by snow capped mountains - absolute bliss! We went for a swim - which in an unheated pool when you can see snow, is a little odd, and then I headed on a 20 minute walk with Dermot which wound through the woods. The fern curls in here were awesome!!!

We all had a few quiet drinks in the bar that night, a bit of impromptu music playing from Robson Green look-alike John, and Ian, and then all headed to bed. Needless to say with this bunch of people in your dorm room, there was a lot of laughing till your sides ache before we finally dropped off to sleep!

The One with the Ice Talonz

There's nothing like a walk in the icy air to wake you up in the morning!

We headed round the corner to the HQ of the company who would be taking us on our full day Ice Tramp on the Franz Josef Glacier.

We were first kitted out in waterproof trousers, thick jacket, woolly socks, boots, Ice Talonz (why not just call them crampons?) Hat and gloves, and were soon looking like the rather bluer cousin of the Michelin Man.

We jumped in the mini bus and headed off for our 40 minute hike to the terminal face. nothing could prepare me for the first view of the ice. Both it's beauty and it's mere size - amazing. Milky coloured torrents raced past us, headed for the sea, and we followed the river towards its source.

As we reached the path end, we crossed under the fence, past the EXTREEME DANGER sign, (reasurring!) up a ladder, and up some rocks aided by a chain - and we hadn't even reached the ice yet!

As we reached the face, we sat and put on our Ice Talonz (crampons!) which was a cue for some silly photos. All togged up, our group of 6 elected to be in the first group which meant that not only would we get higher on the ice, but our guide would also be cutting the route for everyone else. The Glacier grows at a rate of 1 metre a day, so every day the guides are cutting new routes and avoiding the new caves, cracks and crevaces that appear!


We head on to the ice remembering the three golden rules of Ice tramping: 1) Agression (so that your Ice Talonz (crampons) get a good grip - at one point I think the guide told me that he had seen more agression in a marshmallow - not good! 2) Feet Forward - easier said then done on steep narrow steps heading down! and 3) walk like John Wayne - so your straps don't get caught in your Ice Talonz (CRAMPONS CRAMPONS CRAMPONS!)

We headed up the steep steps (holding on to the rope for dear life, and as we got higher were given ice picks to help aid balance. This was the boys cue to start hacking into any ice that so much as melted the wrong way - but also provided ample photo opportunities. We are gaining a reputation for taking daft shots now, and tahnkfully as the going was slow, what with cutting the new route and all, it gave us a lot of scope!

Higher up the ice is much bluer, and there are lots of small channels to squeeze through!


As we near the beginning of the final descent we are able to go through a small ice cave, but first we have to crawl through a tiny hole. I am smiling in this photo as I have just reason that my rear end is well and truly stuck - rather like Winnie the pooh in the Rabbit hole - thankfully I wasn't the only one with an ample behind who needed help getting out!

Back on less slippy ground and truly exhauseted, we relax in the large hostel spa, although I leave before the water fights ensued.

Another random evening, of wine and jazz.

The One with the Round and Flat Possums

Thankfully we didn't have an early start the next day, and could make the most of walking down the one road of Barrytown to the deserted if windswept beach.

Back on the bus we head off and thankfully Ian's Ipod has taken over from the random mix of music that we were subjected to yesterday. Even so I'm pretty sure we murdered Bohemian Rhapsody.

We stop (in the rain) in Hokitika - home of the greenstone and H picked up a Kora (fern curl), and then we stopped at Pukekura - for a visit to the Bushman Centre - a tiny place but well worth it's own blog entry just for the pure amusement value.

As we pulled up we could already see this magnificent Stag, and then Pete, the Bushman boarded the bus to warn us that we would not like the bushman centre if we were from "Planet Bambi"

He explained that there were two types of Possums in New Zealand - flat ones and round ones, and I was going to get to see my first "round one" inside!

First we watched a short video about the introduction of deer to New Zealand, how they soon bred out of control and professional hunters were brought in to cull them. With the introduction of a venison market these guys tried capturing them from the hills instead by jumping out of helicopters onto their backs, and eventually they rounded up large numbers and started to farm them. The video was hilarious.

From here we were left to wander the small room, with buttons to press. I luckily turned around to see Sam press the button marked "Press here for the WETA experience" (WETA are the special effects people who did LoTR amongst others) Sam got a jet of water right between the eyes! he he he!!!

With signs up like "If it's not your bottom, don't touch it" you start to get the idea of the type of place it was, and several signs had me giggling for the rest of the bus journey to Franz Josef.

The One with Pancakes, Water Fights, and Baz Vegas

I felt really sorry for the people left at Abel Tasman this morning as the weather was dismal, and you I think it would be harder to appreciate the parks beauty in the rain.

We headed on, in a packed bus, down the Wild West Coast. We are sat in front of Sam and Fiona, and soon get chatting (interesting what a front page of Posh on a magazine can get started!). Princess makes us write our names on the window of the bus. My creativity always dwindles on demand!

We stop in Westport in the afternoon, and while the others high foot it to a brewery for a quick taste, H and I play the somewhat harder game of "try and find a shop open in Westport at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon". Crazy! With supplies at the ready for the evening's fancy dress (theme: Cross Dressing), I soon find myself returning to my Uni days, and scheming about an outfit.

Before then, however, we stopped at Punakaiki, home of the famous Pancake rocks. It was rather windy and a bit damp out but Sam, Fiona, Dermot, Ian, H and I ( a now infamous team) pottered about to look at them. Sadly the weather conditions were not right for the Blowholes (boo!)

Back on the bus, we try and get the party started, and balloons are soon flying up and down the bus but we are met with total apathy!

We finally reach the metropolis which is Barry Town (or Baz Vegas) - population 40. We are staying at the only pub in the village (can anyone else read that without lapsing into a Daffydd voice?) and this is why the entertainment tonight is fancy dress.

H and I have decided to go as Paratroopers (seeing as our whole wardrobe is Khaki!) and have bought waterpistols to add to the outfit. We also have camoflaged ourselves with Brown eyeshadow. We have no green eyeshadow despite asking on the bus (Fiona reckons the resident redhead is keeping hers quiet!).

By now there are fancy dress boxes on the floor in the pub and the boys are starting to reluctantly rummage through. Ian is slightly too enthusiastic - especially when it comes to make up... although I do remember all three boys asking H for a top up of lip gloss even after they had changed back to their normal clothes ("it just tastes so nice!")
Fiona and Sam go as Posh and Becks - Sam is loving his new boobs and finds a good use for them and Fiona has marker pen tattoos!

This must be the only pub in the world which actually encourages water fights. I squirt someone who knocked my gun off the table... he (who turns out to run the place) disappeared behind the bar and got his gun.... Much bigger and full of much more water. Enough said I think!

There was a free bungy on offer for the best dressed and in the final it was down to Sam (Posh) and a french guy called Guillame. Guillame was born to perform, I think, and was loving the attention as he danced on the bar, so sadly he pipped our Posh to the post.

The evening continued with games of killer pool, pick up the cardboard box with your teeth, and later we moved on to cards back in the dorm room once the bar had shut. What a night.

We love you Baz Vegas!

The One with the Kayak

After a fairly non eventful trip in the rain on the ferry to South Island, we had the pleasure of being woken 4 times in the night by the fire alarm in Picton. It brought me straight back to university days with everyone huddled outside in the drizzle wrapped in duvets.

So, needless to say, we were not exactly on top form when we boarded the Stray bus the next day. Our driver was called Princess (not knowing at this stage whether or not it was a nickname, I wanted to tut every time she said her name, but again, with hindsight, I found out that all stray drivers have to have a stupid name!)

I was not particularly impressed with the attempt to start Speed Dating on the bus, but it turned out that no one else was either, so apart from H spending two rounds speaking to Dermot behind us, it all fell pretty flat!

We stopped off en route at a winery (what's the difference between a winery and a vineyard) - personally more a chance to chat to people while enjoying a drop of the good stuff, but this meant we received the Paddington Bear stare from the woman running the place. Back on the bus, we made our way to Marahau on the edge of the Abel Tasman National Park, and Old MacDonalds Farm - our home for the night, but also home to llamas, alpacas, sheep, and an all round eclectic mix of animals!

The next day, and despite the rain in the night, the weather is not too bad, and we make our way next door to receive our training for a days Sea Kayaking. Having learnt how to paddle, what to do if we capsize, adn having managed to negotiate H as steerer(!) we load the Kayaks, jump in the bus and head down to the water. The tide is out so we have quite a trek to the waters edge before launching the kayaks and heading out.

There are 6 of us kayaking. Our guide Zoe, her brother Adam who is visiting her, a german couple who paddle at supersonic speed but don't talk to anyone and H and I. Needless to say supersonic coupledom are normally waiting for H and I to arrive!

Our first stop is Fisherman Island, and after a good hour or so on the water it's time for morning tea on the secluded bay with white sand. The sun is now out, and after yummy cookies, a slice of chocolate cake and the invariable cup of tea we soon had the energy to continue.

As we head on the going is made much easier as we keep stopping to admire the wildlife. Several Grey Shags stand to attention on the rocks, the noise of ciccadas fills the air, a couple of blue penguins bob up and down on the water, and a large seal thrashes about in the water pulling an octopus to bits to eat. As we were on the kayaks, we could get really close to the seal - a really exciting venture.

Our lunch stop was on another white sand beach called Te Puketea Bay. Time for a swim in the "refreshing" water, and then a walk up the cliffs for fantastic views of the National Park, and a chance to dry off in the mid day sun.

Sadly, we also had to paddle back, which when you are tired seems a lot further! Needless to say we needed no help getting to sleep that night!